by John McCall

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A Fictional Rhyming

(with stories in rhyme to cure writer’s block)

Writing songs, greeting cards, headlines, blog sites – or just for friends and fun? Can't recall rhymes? Try word association.

Can’t recall even obvious rhymes while composing? Any rhyming dictionary will rhyme a word. If it’s online, typically, you type in "road," and you get "toad" and other words in alphabetical order.

Similarly, for “road” in the “Fictional Rhyming Dictionary” click under “O” and see rhymes sounding like “ODE.”

But you’ll also get a scene or story – suggested in a ridiculous rhyme, beginning with “Ode to a toad.” Does this "memory block" version of a rhyming dictionary give as many rhymes as a standard rhyming dictionary? Almost never. That's why you will always need a standard version of a rhyming dictionary.

Is something in doggerel (suggesting, say, a scene or story involving a toad) easier to remember than an alphabetical list?  Almost always.  That's why – provided you have perseverance, patience, a strong sense of your goal -- glancing through this rhyming dictionary from time to time can dislodge a mental block in rhyming.

Any resemblance of the statements below to poetry living or dead is purely coincidental.

But should anybody rhyme?  As you know, rhymes are out of favor now, and for a reason. They can smother creative expression, and teachers are generally right to discourage rhyming. But the quirky rhyme of the neglected clerihew verse can delight pre-teens and professors. And a rhyme can lighten a life.

 So there may always be a place for jingles -- for us kids.



-A (with a sound like" way") see -AY
(You will generally find the sound you want under the usual spelling.)

SCAB LAB: The staff at our biology lab don't just gab, blab, and confab.

Where there's a crab with a blue scab -- we always nab, jab, and stab.
(We precisely tab -- just a dab for our microscope's slab.)

'NATION IN CREATION:' Our space-ace - he's braced for the chase.

It's to place the flag (our nation's face) first on the base.

His pace has grace.

'THE CURE:' Doc was a hack -- with no medical knack. (His fees backed  black jack and his snacks at the track.)

And, now nabbed as a quack, he trades his fake plaque for horizontal striped slacks.

You use fact with opportune "tact" -- that earns you my pact for this tract.

'GENERATION GAP:' Just call me "granddad." I'm clad in sad plaid when I say, "You are bad."

Why? Because that lad Chad is mad for some fad in an ad.

But his undergrad grin is a tad too glad: "Next, Old Dad, you'll say: 'By gad, you're a cad.'"

I normally cadge, but I saw the badge.

When her photograph staff made a big gaff, she would just half laugh - after a quaff.

-AFE and -AIF
'WAR ORPHAN:' She is now safe from the bullet's strafe - the chafed waif.

'KICKBACKS?' A little draft blew away the shaft, built with more graft than craft.

'TRAGICOMEDY:' Today's funny men make me gag: they will brag on their gags ... and then lag.

It won't help to nag; you must snag, drag, and stick in a bag -- every rag-tag "wag."

When there's "wage rage" -- a sage, on the Daily's back page, can gauge every stage.

I'm plagued by the vague.

-AH and -A
If the shah says "bah" to their la-di-dah spa, will ma and pa shout: "Hurrah"?

-AID, -AYED and -ADE
'A MAID IN TRADE:' I'm called "the staid maid." And here - for years, I HAVE "stayed."

I've seen my braids fade - in our glade's deepest shade ... out with my  trusty spade. (I make use of its hidden blade when - as a pirate -- I raid the jade trade.)

'SLANDER BRANDER:' Heathens paint our quaint saint -- with their own taint. 

It's no faint complaint - put them under restraint.  

-AITH (see also -ATHE (soft pronunciation))
Back on the eighth, I had faith in that wraith.

'SERPENTINE HYGIENE:' Our chef Jake is a poisonous fake. He takes the worst snakes from our lakes and cuts them in tiny flakes, which he bakes in his cakes. 

And try his " Break Shake." Next day, you will wake with the shakes -
plus an ache you must slake - for another shake.

-ALE and -AIL
 'FISH" STORY:' Will this tale -- of a ship in full sail -- make some
others seem pale?

We heard a small wail (only "snail scale"). We weren't prepared for the gale, from the trail of a giant male whale.

Too late at the rail, both the hale and the frail would quail and flail, as the effort to bale out would fail. (We longed for jail and stale ale.)

You'd scald the bald. 

-ALL and -AWL
'MIGHTY MITE:' A very small thrall crawled to our Great Hall. There,  (all gall) he called for a brawl.

The tall knights would fall - badly mauled; in a pall.

Now, stalled  -- for lances, they called.

And that thrall even scrawled on our wall!  

You are the balm that calms my palms.

What -- a tourist got scalped in the Alps?

You halt their malt - then fault the vault in their somersault.

I have just halved the salve for my calves.

 'TRUE CONFESSIONS:' After a dram - I'm no clam: after blabbing, I had to scram. So, I took a tram on the lamb from that jam. ... Oh, what's my scam? Selling sham-ham.

 'INFLAMED:' Who came? The famed Dame - who's untamed. She, at last, named the aim of her game: "It's to shame, lame, and maim my old flame, who's to blame."

I ran a (banned) scan on a wanted-man's clan (from my own tan van) to learn his faithful fans' plan.

A chance-glance can lance guests at that manse, where they dance -- and prance -- in a trance.

 The ranch-branch blanched at the avalanche.

Our cautious land will hand a bland brand to the grandstand band.

-ANE and -AIN
'KNIGHTED AND BLIGHTED:' With my foes slain, I was no vain swain, but the main thane.

Then I deigned to use the serf's grain for my gain - and so I was
stained ... my own name, a bane.

And, though I feigned a sprained brain, the Prince would proclaim:
"Here is thy chain, thou pain who woulds't rain on my reign!"

'SYMBOLIC GESTURE:' I used to hang with the concert gang.

My dog, Fang, listened -- and sprang. Whenever I sang?  Nope, at the symbol's clang. 

On the range of that grange, doc says, "That's strange! There's a change
in your mange."

'SOME JOKE:' You have me to thank (for a cute "crank prank") - oh, I'm Corporal Frank (and, frankly, I'm swank).

You see, while the Yank's flank drank, I'd sneak out - out where the  dank bank stank.

There, in the gun of our only tank - I'd insert a blank.

'SPIN-DOCTOR CURED:' Since the scholar pants for a grant - at a  meeting, he acts as a "plant."

Though bribed, he just can't chant the rant with the lobbyist's slant. And he's adamant.

'HEADED HOME:' Our mighty trap snapped on Sap's cap. It's straps (in scraps) flapped in a gap.

Pleased at the joke, Pap had to clap -- and slap his lap.

Tearfully, Sap used his map.

Draped in a crepe cape, that "ape" scraped the tape -- off the neck's

The apse collapsed.

"Is it apt?" " I'm rapt."

'CELEBRITY:' The tsar has a scar from a spar with a star. But his Russian car - that -- won him a jar from the bar.

There he's asked, "You for war?  Or neither nor?"

For your garb, here's a barb.

Troops in a starched march -- can get very parched.

Who guards the Bard's shards? Falstaff -- that "card," hard as lard, in
the yard.

-ARE and -AIR
BEACHWEAR:' We are the pair who wear only bare air - and that with a flair.  Though we're far from spare, we know that we share what is rare and fair.

But our lifeguard could only stare, glare, and tear his hair.

Then he would blare his concern and his "care" - his mind on what?  On a snare in his lair? We couldn't fit there.

That smell? It theirs unawares.

He'd dwarf a wharf. 

That large barge won't undercharge.

'MAKING YOUR MARK:' Hark! In the park, there's a lark on the arc of a tree's stark bark.

Just for a lark, the lark makes its mark.

So does the dark shark. (Or any aardvark.)

I never quarrel -- without a snarl.

-ARM (see also -ORM)
Any farm's charms can harm urban arms.

It's an elegant yarn (for some darn barn).

He's sharp -- but he carps and he harps.

'WIT'S SOUL:' Parse your farce till the words are sparse.

The marsh? It's harsh.

Overheard in the mart: "If my cart starts to dart, get out my heart
chart."  "If you're smart, you'll depart.  I cannot diagnose ... ala carte."

Well, at least, thwart my wart.

Don't starve, carve.

'ELITE TREAT:' "You brash trash, if you flash cash, you think you can  crash this bash. Well, sir, your hopes are dashed. In the old days, you'd be  thrashed - and perhaps gashed and slashed.

"But, for now, let's have sour mash, not that hash," said a tramp in  the line. (He hid his arm rash with a fine, but splashed, sash.) 

Where I bask, I mask the task of my flask

Spasms cause chasms.

'CLEOPATRA NEEDLED:' When you grasp and clasp an asp, your gasp tends to rasp.

 'DANGERS OF REPRESSION:' Say a mass for the lass teaching "Freedom Class" - that's where the Big Brass plan to try their nerve gas.

At last, a vast movie cast re-enacts our past at the mast. (At each  cannon blast, we're harassed by "Avast!" and bombast.)

'OBESE RESULT?' Forget your waist, and (in haste) baste to taste.

'HOME, SWEET HABITAT:' The rotund cat sat in your hat, while her white brat spat on the mat by the slat.

All was still -- except in your vat (your rat's commissariat). There,
that flat-eared bat had a chat with the gnat (who only begat on aristocrats).

"Snatch the catch in that batch from the hatch -- and don't scratch the
latch." "Natch."

'THIN ICE:' In Our Great Lakes State, you can skate cut rate.

So, I wait at the rink's slate gate -- for my mate.

But she's late for our date at eight.

I wouldn't excoriate - but I'll lubricate over my fate.

Scalding water in my bath hath a path of wrath.

-ATHE (soft sound)
Your lathe scathed all who bathed.


Though his haunch was staunch, he did launch some paunch.

'PALE PASSENGERS:' Things gaunt will haunt, taunt, and daunt your  much-vaunted jaunt.

-AUSE, -AUZE and -AWS (see also -AW(s))
Did that book's clause "don't pause for gauze" really cause yaws?

-AUSH see -OSH

HERO:' Though brave, he's a knave. He staves off the foe - so we're safe on the waves.

In spite of our fortnightly's raves, he's a slave to his craves till the grave. (In my carriage, he just can't behave.)

 Nature has flaws. Its paws and its claws fill its jaws and its maws. But
where in the raw is our law held in awe?

-AWD and -AUD (see also -ORD)
'PANDERING:' A fraud from abroad lauds every bawd.

-AWG see -OG

'PEACE ON EARTH:' At the war hawk's chalk talk, I balked and I squawked.  Then I stalked off - on a "Peace Walk."

-AWN and -AUN (see also -ON)
The faun tried to show brawn on the lawn. But by dawn, he  spawns a yawn in the lake's nearby prawn. "This is drawn out too long, I'm a  prawn, not your pawn, and I'm gone."

'UNDERPAID?' On my payday, don't make me say: "Hurray! That ain't hay!" Some ass always brays and then "nay's" at the thought of my raise.
'OVERPLAYED?' With more pay, I would stay in town for a play. I'll watch any fray - any hero waylay some low-life in gray. I'll watch our knight  "slay" some "bird of prey." (Though when a play is, like some parfait,  magically fey - I stay away.)

-AZE and -ASE
'NO CHARITY FOR CLARITY:' Writers once had a craze - it was for the "glazed gaze."

Each phrase in a hazy maze then got praised.

When that phase raised a blaze, clear writers got burned or grazed. (Amazed?)


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Rev 2010-1.